What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
