Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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