I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize