the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
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I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
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We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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