If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
