Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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