just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
