I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
