I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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