At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
