Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It's no shave November. This is our time.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
