I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
