Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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