remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
