Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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