Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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