somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
