We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
