I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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