Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
