Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Panties = found
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
