when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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