I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
