how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.