When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"