This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
i think my cat just said my name.