Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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