I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
