Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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