i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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