i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
A bitchslap is in order.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
