I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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