If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
