I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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