I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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