I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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