She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
