best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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