I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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