Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
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