theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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