Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
