Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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