His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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