He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
