Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
she smelled like a LAN party
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
