What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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