i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
