rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize