Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
