Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
