I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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