I must be too annoying 4 u.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
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my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
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Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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