office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
