Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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