Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
