note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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