I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
