Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
