am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
