My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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